A hacker who studied ontology
Was famed for his sense of frivolity.
When his program inferred
That Clyde ISA Bird
He blamed -- not his code -- but zoology!
If your thesis is utter vacuous
Use first-order predicate calculus.
With sufficient formality
The sheerist banality
Will be hailed by the critics: "Miraculous!"
If your thesis is quite indefensible
Reach for semantics intensional.
Your committee will stammer
Over Montague grammer
Not admitting it's incomprehensible!
kautz@research.att.com (Henry Kautz)